Say it this way | audio & fiction

Wrong Number

2010-07-06T21:47:00.008-04:00

We got the weirdest phone message from out of nowhere. I thought the voice on the other end was having a stroke, then all of a sudden the operator chimes in. Any explanations are welcome!

Listen here.

Strange Roommates

2010-05-27T12:55:00.005-04:00

I thought I was living with the craziest rommmates ever. Turned out I was the crazy one.

Listen here.

Music is All His Exes by Sylvie Lewis, and Oh What a World by Rufus Wainwright

Death with Dignity

2010-03-22T14:05:00.005-04:00

How movies get death wrong. And why two paramedics support physician-assisted suicide.

Listen here.

Music is Rachmaninoff's Elegie.

Mouse trap

2010-01-24T13:23:00.008-05:00

A classic story of rodent vs human. Except in this case, it wasn't just any mouse. It was our mouse. A tiny one that we had rescued from a snowstorm and brought home to take care of. It had a name and everything. But mice will be mice. Ours escaped, and this is the story of how we caught it and bid it adieu.

Listen here.

Music is Samson by Regina Spektor, and a Count Basie song from YouTube.

Let Her Go

2009-11-24T21:37:00.008-05:00

The worse her Alzheimer's got, the more he loved her. Arthur tells the story of how he took care of his mom for several years until she died from AD. At first he was her nurse. Then he became her advocate. And finally, he became the only barrier between her and death. This is the story of how he let her go.

Listen here.

Music is All His Exes by Sylvie Lewis, plus Spiegel im Speigel and Fur Alina by Arvo Part. Picture is from Seite-3's photostream.

Manboobs to the rescue

2009-10-25T11:26:00.008-04:00

His thesis was stopped at the border. His future as a college student in America was on the line. But Komail gave border agents the slip with a little anatomy lesson.

Listen here.

Background music is Balkan's Joke by Jacques Pellarin. Check out Komail Aijazuddin's website. This story was created from outtakes of another story to air on Studio 360 in the coming months.

Tom Bombadil of Georgia

2009-08-17T11:37:00.006-04:00

We're caught wearing shorts in tick-infested woods. But we had no idea we'd be hiking out there in the first place, or that we'd meet Marcus, aka Tom Bombadil, who lives in an old wooden house from 1870 and who loves to eat wild mushrooms.

Listen to us city boys follow him into darkness.

Music in this piece is Anitra's Dance by Edvard Grieg, and Tom Bombadil's Song by The Tolkien Ensemble.

Powers the Visionary Dog

2009-07-23T11:16:00.008-04:00

A seeing-eye dog learns to find bus stops. In this episode, we meet Powers, a black lab who helps out my visually impaired friend Mike. Powers is smart and obedient. But he has one big weakness. And it's not fire hydrants.

Listen here.

The outro for this piece by Lindsay Starke, who handily won last month's podcast challenge. Music is Le Banjo by Louis Moreau Gottschalk, performed by BachScholar.

Hilary Duff meets Nietzsche

2009-06-21T23:36:00.007-04:00

Who won the 2004 Hilary Duff essay contest? Several tween girls. And a six-foot-six man with a two-foot beard.

Listen here.

This is a story about intensely academic all-male college, and its obsession with Disney pop princesses.

Appropriately, all music in this piece is sung by the titular princess.

Ma Knows Best

2009-05-21T23:32:00.007-04:00

Two South Asian women lie to their mothers.

In this installment of the podcast, three stories:

The first one's a teaser. It's about a car accident. The kind where it's not your fault but you feel like somehow it should be.
The second is about arranged marriages, leprechauns, and background checks.
The last story, from Subcontinental Drift, is about not coming home all night, police, and convincing mom you were at the computer lab the whole time.

Listen here.

Guest hosted by Patrick Callier. Music by General Fuzz at magnatune.com

Pleasurable Alternatives

2009-04-25T16:57:00.008-04:00

What happens when you try to say yes and no at the same time? Saurabh Tak tells the story of meeting Olivia one night at an art event, and then bringing her back to his apartment for an evening that got weirder and weirder.

Listen here.

See the unabridged performance, given at SpeakeasyDC's stage.
Funky jazz music from Jive Ass Sleepers at magnatune.com.

Radio as a Second Language

2009-03-12T13:43:00.009-04:00

You might speak English, but do you understand it?

Me: 'Give up' means you stop doing something. 'Give in' means you start doing something.
Her: No. 'Give in' also means polite way of giving up.

English is so confusing. But you don't think about it until you talk to a non-native speaker. Which makes for some great radio. Listen here.

This piece is from a new project I'm working on called RadioLingual. Check it out!

Under Pressure

2009-02-18T19:37:00.005-05:00

Three men coach me as I try to record myself peeing.

Me: Oh! I think I'm gonna do it ... [waiting] ... nope. Just stopped.
Man 1: What would you like us to sing?
Man 2: Should all acquaintance be forgot...
Me: Yeah, that's good!

They were there for a workshop to overcome shy bladder. Turns out mine was the shyest bladder of all. Listen here.

This is not the shy bladder feature you heard on Prime Time Radio or Word of Mouth. This contains the bits that were too juicy for the public airwaves.

Inauguration Sounds

2009-01-20T22:52:00.008-05:00

Took a recorder into DC for Obama's big day. Craziness...

We just broke through a bus caravan on G Street. We're like locusts, you can't hold us down.

I've never seen so many people on a Metro train, heard so many boos for an outgoing president, felt so cold and yet so warm. If you couldn't be there in person, this one's for you. Headphones advised. Listen here.

Also, Patrick was there and took some great photos.

The Running Jump

2009-01-18T17:01:00.005-05:00

How do you spend recess if you don't want to play kickball?

There are exactly two nylon sacks. Balls in the right sack. And jump ropes in the left. This is a choice that has already been made for Kabir.

Poor Kabir. Jump though he may, he gets "roped" back into the kickball game. Does he overreact? You decide. Hear the whole story.

A bit of fiction for the new year, set to Prashanti by Ravi Shankar. I originally wrote this piece for a open mic in DC last month organized by the peerless Regie Cabico.

The Reel World

2008-12-20T02:05:00.006-05:00

Scary stories about slot machines, as told by anthropologist Natasha Schull.

"At night while her husband was asleep, she would drive to the supermarket and play until dawn at these machines."

What you always wanted to know about the random number generator but were too afraid to ask. Plus, some crazy stories about addiction, escapism, and the early days of email.

Hear the complete, 5 minute audio online here.

Natasha Schull is hard at work on her new book. It's an ethnography of gamblers and game designers that will make huge waves in academia.

Production notes: These are basically the outtakes of a conversation Natasha and I had at WNYC's Studio 360, where I am working on an upcoming feature about slot machines. Derek John was the engineer. Background music: Send and Receive (Chachi Jones Remix) by Tycho, and Track 36 from the soundtrack of Synecdoche, New York.

Joy to the world so high

2008-11-19T00:00:00.006-05:00

A children's song mash-up. Vocals by Patrick Callier.

[audio excerpt] Twinkle, twinkle, little star. How I won- world -kle world world so worlds. What you worlds. In joy joy.

Ever notice how similar the lyrics are in these "classic" American songs? There's a lot of word overlap. So you can take the songs, break them down into their syllables, and then rearrange those syllables into new songs, new melodies that retain more than a shred of the original meaning. Listen here.

End of my childhood

2008-10-21T13:00:00.011-04:00

Me and big brother, circa 1990

Talk about the end of innocence. My 12 year-old brother interviews my 24 year-old brother about going to Islamic summer camp.

I remember seeing an inscription on the wall next to my bunk bed. It was very simple and straightforward. It said: On this bed, a boy became a man and a girl became a woman.

12 year-olds have the funniest reactions. Hear the complete, 5 minute audio online here.

Also featuring my father. Soundtrack by A.R. Rahman. A different version of this story will be presented by SpeakeasyDC in the coming months.

Switching Exercise

2008-09-17T00:10:00.007-04:00

Andrea's got some advice for couples: Next time you're having an argument, switch sides.

You're doing a play where they are you and you are them... So, I'm playing the role of John: 'You know Andrea it really frustrates me how your issues with your family and your parents' divorce are affecting our relationship.'

Over the years, Andrea and John have had plenty of disagreements. For example: hair—does it or does it not absorb water? (answer inside.) Through it all, the switching exercise has arguably kept them together. Hear Andrea's sage wisdom in this five-minute musical, youtube-ical radio piece.

Props to the team at alt.NPR's Love and Radio, whose genius production style served as my template. Also props to Efterklang, whose song Tortuous Tracks flavors this piece.

The Perfect Interview

2008-08-16T22:07:00.008-04:00

A hypothetical radio conversation in which the worst possible host interviews the worst possible guest.

Umm, well I should say first, umm, I don't know there are a lot of different things but as far as I know, umm...

In this, I took a 12-minute phone conversation between an actual public radio host and an actual guest. Then, instead of editing out all the rubbish, I edited out everything of substance. What's left is 2 minutes of "non-fluencies" -- all the flubbing, qualifying, and hedging that make this possibly the worst interview of all time. It's so bad, it's good.

Sell your silverware

2008-07-24T22:15:00.007-04:00

Take note, all you dumpster divers and free furniture junkies: metal prices are on the rise. And that means competition at junkyards is getting tougher.

"I'm here at Harvard University Recycling Center. It's Thursday morning, time for the weekly furniture giveaway, and the atmosphere is frenzied... A grandmotherly woman hefts a laser printer into an office chair, and then pushes it along like it's a shopping cart..."

As if competing with grandmothers and bargain shoppers wasn't hard enough, now visitors at Harvard's furniture giveaway have a new rival... scrap metal scavengers who kidnap filing cabinets, and snip off power cords just for the copper. This is pissing some people off, especially those who just want to re-use the stuff rather than see it recycled as scrap.

But is the situation as simple as re-users vs. recyclers? Only one way to find out. You'll have to listen to this, my first field piece produced for NPR.

Smokestacks and Annals

2008-06-30T20:56:00.006-04:00

Good poetry gets better with background sound and music. Here are two poems: "Schuylkill Smoketacks at Sunrise," and "The Town Historian," written by my friend Edward Stephens, and remixed by me. The latter, a portrait of a love-struck character poring through his town's history to prove a point about beauty. And the former, well:

"How utterly the alabaster spreads / to shade the coming light."

Included in this four-minute mp3 is my favorite Chopin Nocturne. Get lost in the smoke and mirrors (link to full sound file).

Lost in Ritual

2008-06-10T10:54:00.009-04:00

Muslims pray five times a day, even if they happen to be stuck in Harvard Square on a hot June day. My aunts use the sun to figure out the direction towards Mecca.

Basically, it usually rises to your left. -No, it sets on your left. -No, towards your left is the east, and towards your right is the west. -That was in England. -But England is also in the east…I could be wrong.

Their daughters are not religious—at first glance. But. What they say about finding a "side room" sounds very similar to how their mothers describes the "essence" of prayer. Hear four distinct Muslim women sound off in this three-minute soundworld.

And here's a brief glossary for the un-initiated:

qibla = the direction Muslims face while praying (i.e. towards Mecca)
namaaz = any of the five daily prayers
hijab = Muslim headscarf
sajdah = lying prostrate during prayer
side room = a private-or-not-private space that Muslims occupy for prayer when away from home

Float to the Bottom

2008-05-29T21:58:00.008-04:00

A sound journey: escape from a burning office building into the peaceful grip of asphyxia.

The devil doesn't buy individual souls anymore. Now, he buys pieces of souls. Soul-backed securities, diversified bundles of souls. It's less risky, you know?

In this piece, you can't take it anymore. And you start the fire. I highly suggest wearing headphones when listening; it will help you imagine the scenery. Hear the complete, 5-minute audio online here.

Sounds in this piece come from the Freesound Project and Magnatune.com. The robotic voice is from AT&T Labs text-to speech online.

Facebook vs. the RIAA

2008-05-05T14:00:00.004-04:00

When the record companies sent Jared an email asking for three thousand dollars for music he'd downloaded online, he was dumbstruck. He didn’t have that kind of money. And he definitely didn't have time to go to court.

Someone suggested I start selling illegal pirated music and movies. Pornography. They’re like 'well they’ve accused you of doing it so why don’t you do it?' I was like, uh, maybe.

He actually ended up using facebook to ask people for money. And it worked. Big time. Which proves that social networking sites are good for more than just poking. Listen to the whole radio story to find out which songs they accused him of downloading, how he paid up, and how you can avoid his fate.

Click here for a list of lawyers defending against RIAA lawsuits.

Music and sound in this piece come from Magnatune.com and the FreeSound project.

Can't touch this

2008-04-08T14:41:00.008-04:00

Only one year after coming to the United States from India, Selvaraj was mugged violently. But when faced with a line-up of suspects and asked, "Who did it?" he reacted in a surprising way. It's a story about mugging, ragging, and the caste system as seen through the eyes of a guy that many Americans have a hard time figuring out.

"I walked a couple of streets and then I called 911." I remember seeing Selvaraj the night he was mugged. He was shaking and a wad of tissue was plugged up his bloody nostril. That same night, a police officer lined up four suspects and asked Selvaraj to identify the attacker. He was seventy percent sure he saw the guy.

Hear the complete, 11 minute audio online here.

Music and sound in this piece come from magnatune.com (Suchita Parte and John Williams), ndtv.com, and the FreeSound project.

The Whole Story

2008-03-07T10:44:00.005-05:00

image: indospectrum.com

This guy narrates the death of a surfing buddy, but here's the thing. He tells the story three times, each time remembering additional important details and events. When the whole story comes into focus, we’re left wondering what other details were left out, and where this story, or any story for that matter, actually begins and ends.

We’d finally convinced him to come to the beach with us. He’d been backing out again and again but that day the sun was really bright. He said that maybe it would do him good to get a little burnt, whatever that meant. There was this crazy low tide that day, and he was obsessed with sea glass and the sand dollars and crabs so we just figured we’d start out without him and see if he’d join us. I was riding serious A-frames out there, I didn’t even really notice that he was laying still on the sand until there were people surrounding him and shouting for help.

Read the full story, along with other great fiction, in Etchings Magazine, Issue 4, from Ilura Press. Or click here for my copy.

Early Music

2008-03-06T09:42:00.017-05:00

After singing songs from the 1500s for an hour, the choir members peel off their flowing purple robes and rush out the doors for dinner. They're starving. But I pull some aside in the few minutes they can spare and I ask them why they sing what they sing, what it means, and who the audience tends to be.

People into meditation and stuff have discovered it. I would say musicians and probably... older ‘folk.’ (laughs) So, why does old music draw old people?

Hear the full, 5 minute clip online, complete with early music by Josquin Desprez and Heinrich Isaac, here.

Also check out the early music album Angelus on magnatune.com.

Evil Chubbetta

2008-03-04T17:48:00.017-05:00

An evil twin can come in the smallest package. Like a baby doll. Courtney Matson got away with so much mischief as a child because she could always blame it on her naughty, naughty doll, who she appropriately named, “The Evil Chubbetta.” At times, she even embarrassed her parents in public with Chubbetta's bad manners.

Chubbetta would sneak up behind the bald man and rub his head, vigorously... I would say “Chubbetta, stop it!” But she would say, “Evil Chubbetta listens to no one.”

Hear the full-length audio online here.

Mr. Anonymous

2008-03-04T17:46:00.010-05:00

Crushes are all the same in some ways—admiration from a distance, secret longing, nervous encounters, and eventually, either reciprocation or rejection. In Erica Davis' case, her crush was far out of reach. So she put him in a story she was writing to give herself a reason to interview him.

At the conversation kept going, something came over me. Talking to Mr. Anonymous... it felt like home.

Listen to the full audio clip of Mr. Anonymous here.

Black Islam

2008-03-04T14:57:00.016-05:00

I met Abdul Shabazz at a flea market in New Haven; he was distributing the latest issue of the Muslim Times. A month later, I went with him to Muhammad Islamic Center, a predominantly black mosque. It had been years since I had let go of my own Pakistani Muslim faith, but in this setting I talked with people about the history of black Islam and the problems facing urban youth, and I became re-acquainted with Islam through a new community.

Damn, Brother! I didn't know you was pretty like that. What you going through the sisters' side for, boy? Huh? You pretty? You pretty boy?

Hear the full audio clip here: New Haven's Black Mosque

Dilip

2008-03-04T10:59:00.017-05:00

from ratemyturban.com

He was doing his job: passing time watching people watch art. I wondered what that would be like, and how it made a difference that he was Sikh, that he wore a turban along with his museum guard uniform. So I wrote a fictionalized monologue from his point of view, based on the hour that I observed him.

My first day I had a difficult time putting the headset on over my turban. The metal band did not bend enough and my ear kept popping out from under the earpiece. Yes, I remember, I thought it was a huge problem. I even went and asked the curator what to do.

Read the full short online at Brink Magazine »